Banning water?

Dearest blog reader.

Before I go on, I just want to mention this blog milestone. Shortly after this post goes up, it will hit the 7000th view. It will be the 92nd post. Other that my consecutive day married streak, my consecutive days as a father streak, and my consecutive days with a heartbeat streak, (particularly proud of that one) the idea that I have stuck with it for 92 posts is pretty cool. Thanks to all of you who have read, liked, and reposted to all of your friends. Now, off to the races.

I hope that this finds you doing well and drenched to the bone from a mid-summer's night rain shower. I must say that today Facebook has caused me to feel like tiny Tim at Christmas. Your updates, every 15 minutes of the rain in your back yards was like Timmy's neighbor kids getting new tennis shoes for their cold shoeless feet. They are all so happy that they come by for show and tell. I want to be happy for them, but I'm tiny Tim with my crippled dried up drought feet. If I could just fit one of those shoes on my foot, I'd kick their insensitive butts right back out the door.

No really, I am so glad that you got rain today. I am glad that you shared a up-turned face, slack mouthed moment of awe and joy. I'm glad that your labradoodle, cheagle or shitpoo, (whatever kind of dog you have) skittered around the yard in that mutant spazmonic way that it does. It's mouth wide open trying to catch the rain on it long pink tongue; finally, exhaustedly shaking itself dry on the front porch to the delight of the entire family. I am trying to be a bigger person. I am trying to be happy for you.

My city neighbors have succumbed to all of this drought hype. It’s dry. It is never going to rain ever again and since Indianapolis relies on surface water from two reservoirs this supposed drought means lower water levels and theoretically could pose a danger if they had several fires that required a great deal of water to fight. So Mayor Ballard took the bull by the horns and instituted a city wide watering ban. You can no longer water your grass, wash your car or use your hose to wash the walk off. Here's hoping that the Christmas partridges don't choose the pear tree out front for their morning constitutional.

It also appears to me that the mayor is expecting our fellow citizens to turn the scofflaws in for their evil deeds. In fact, the mayor's office is so certain that the population is so rife with tattle-tales, that it is concerned that the police department will be inundated by all the rat finks that can't mind their own business. An example is the news reporter on WIBC who was salivating at the thought of turning in a list right after his shift on Friday afternoon. So don't call 911 and report that crack house next door (a worthy object of citizen watch dogging) No, call the Mayor's Action Center, give them your neighbor's address, and Bob and Ted, from the enforcement department, will rush right over and upon verification of lawn watering or partridge pooh expundgement a ticket and fine will be issued.

What have we come to? Our leaders believe that we are such a backbiting bunch of nitpickers that we will do the job of enforcement for them. Rather than do the work themselves, they rely on a bunch of sissies hiding behind the skirts of the nanny state. Busy-bodies doing their civic duty because they have an ax to grind over the neighbor's dog using their yard for a toilet rather than some concern over water levels.

Here is an alternative solution. Why don't we rely on economics to solve this problem? Water is supposedly a scarce resource. If that is so, charge more for it during the scarce times. You could have two price tiers. The first 1000 gallons a month is $30. Every 100 gallons there after is $30. Low and behold instead of relying on the nanny state, we can say "damn I'm not paying that for green grass and a clean front walk. I'll not use more than 1000 gallons this month." Or you could choose to be thrifty. You could only take showers with another thereby using the saved water for the curbside appeal for your house. It's your choice.

Letting people make economic choices, frees the citizenry to find all kinds of solutions. Here's another for those too shy to shower with others; put your dirty cloths in a mesh bag with a smooth rock or two and listen to dance music in the shower.  A few Latin beats and viola, you and your cloths are as clean as a whistle.

Trust me if Mayor Ballard were to release that kind of creativity on Indy's 3 million citizens we'd have more water than you could shake a stick at.

Of course letting the citizenry take action, would limit our leaders opportunities to appear to be people of action. It would also rob the citizenry the opportunity to confuse equal with fair. God bless you everyone.

Take care

Roger