Blowing smoke?

I swore that I wasn't going to write about politics as often. I made this oath after getting feedback from some of you that "the political stuff goes right over my head but some of your other stuff is okay." Relying in that ringing endorsement and noticing that my family's eyes glaze over when I declare that Birch Bayh was a crook and his son is a sissy crook as I channel my inner grandma, I am truly trying to modify my blogs and keep my political opinions out of these pages. I was well on my way. I was going to write about the beauty of motherhood, daffodils and puppies.

I was going to until I went on my bike ride this evening. About half way through my ride,a big old pick up with high lift shocks and mud tires and lime green letters on the windshield proudly proclaiming that they were "FLAT BROKE" came by and revved the engine and his big ole Cummins deisel belched a huge cloud of black smoke that drifted over into my lane. I must admit that I was bemused. I thought Speedy racer with the black smoke cloud trick; cool. I pedalled through my bemusement and the cloud and went on. Well I found that I acted incorrectly and possibly offended them greatly. It appears that inbred hill jacks have the gift and can read bemusement through smoke clouds.

Five minutes later he had turned about to give me another fly by and his buddy leaned out the window and yelled something like "my mother must have had incestuous relations for me to be this stupid." I am still trying to work on the audio. The quality isn't very good because just as he started his declaration of his love for his mother, the driver hit the gas and I got smoked again.

And I thought to myself that the price of gas wasn't quite high enough if he could waste it as a mosquito suppressant this early in the season.

Then I got to wondering if President Obama had been picked on as a younger man and while he had thought that we should give terrorist trials and told the country that we should give them trials, he just kind of flashed back to high school and a couple of bullies in turbans, robes, beards, and big ole fake hair made fun of his ears, blew cigarette smoke in his face, while chanting "American made? Show us your birth certificate." Then when the general whispered into his ear "(President) Obama; we have Osama." he broke. He forgot what he ran on and ordered the assassination.

For all of the loyalists out there, calm down. Take a breath. It was an assassination. No matter what is actually said to have happened in the end, Osama was killed on orders from the President of the United States. I know it is difficult to admit if one is a loyalist. I still remember my grandma saying "Nixon didn't do anything Johnson hadn't done. He just got caught." God love her.

I don't know if President Obama wishes that he had handled it differently. If he does, he can get his own blog. I for one wish that we would have shown a bit more imagination.

It seems to me that Osama had been in prison for the past seven years. Our courageous Navy Seals had flown in there and secured the facility. What if we would have at that moment taken a breath and called the President of Pakistan? We could have told him that we had found Osama a mile away from the military school. He could have verified it by the caller id proclaiming that the Bin Ladens were on the line. After the verifications were made we could have offered him the Bad Lands in South Dakota in exchange for our new embassy in Pakistan. Of course we would have had to negotiate right of way for the bikers on the way out to Sturgis but diplomacy is the art of the possible.

With the negotiations out of the way, we could harden the facilities. Take away the cable, and internet access and make the walls really thick. Then tell all of the terrorists in the world that if they want him come and get him. I'm telling you that it would be like a bug zapper at a moth convention. You wouldn't be able to shoot the jihadists fast enough.

That's what I would do if I were president. Which reminds me of something else my grandmother told me: "every time a politician promises you something, he's just blowin smoke."

Take Care

Roger