Sunday, February 5, 2012

Certain Ambiguity or Ambiguous Certitude?

Dear Blog Reader

I hope that this find you doing well. I am fine. The Sharritt household is a bit on pins and needles today though. You see. I mistimed the start of this series of blogs recounting memories brought about by tearing down an old timber frame barn from my childhood. The series has stretched into the Super Bowl festivities. First hand knowledge of Super Bowl week is a target rich blogging environment.

Bev is my biggest fan. She likes the blogs that touch on memories, relationships, or peonies. Actually, she likes any of my blogs where the creative process does not include me hunched over the keyboard typing feverishly, a maniacal look in my eye, and my ears turning red from an elevated blood pressure. As fan numero uno, she believes that my best blogs stay away from ranting and should never stray into the land of raving. So this week, she has been encouraging me to stick with the discipline laid out three weeks ago. It was a good plan. And to cover what encouragement can't persuade, I suspect that Bev has been sprinkling my cereal with ground up beta blockers.

As described in last week's blog "Make Hay While the Sun Shines" the old timber  frame barns were designed to hold enough hay to keep the livestock, living on the first floor, in clover, so to speak from late October through early to mid-May depending on the weather patterns of any given year. The perfect year would have five days of hay left on May 10th. This would have given the new spring grass enough time for a good head start allowing the herd excellent grazing for the next 5 to 6 months. Every evening through the fall and winter, we would scramble up a rickety ladder and remove the summer's work one row at a time, constantly doing story problems. If it is January 10th, and you feed 10 bales a day from a haymow; the haymow has 12.3 rows left and each row has 103 bales, when will you run out? The cows had more than a rooting interest in the outcome of the mathematical gesticulations. An answer of May 20th could mean a bit of gluttony, May 5th, however, some belt tightening.

In a good year, with good drying conditions, pulling the bales from their place released that smell of new mown hay that Jim Nabors is so fond of singing about. I always imagined that the hay was so well insulated, packed tightly in row upon row, that a little bit of the summer heat was released in the uncovering. That may have been internal body heat generated from carrying thirty pounds of wool coats, long underwear, double layers socks and Wonder bread (see Wonder . . . Bread? the December 4th blog) sacks up a rickety old ladder thirty feet. This was long before the days of thinsulate when the theories of body heat regulation revolved mainly around lugging heavy cloths around to keep you warm.

It was the loading of the haymow that provided the most vivid memories though; the most vivid memories and a life-forming lesson that has shaped me and is still one of the major forces that shapes my life and the way I see the world. If you were to look in the table of contents, the chapter would be called "Teaching the Concept of Certain Ambiguity or Ambiguous Certitude."

This lesson was taught and re-enforced each summer for ten years; taught until its lessons became part of my DNA. As mentioned, the very tip top of the haymow (capacity 1500 bales) was 30 feet off of the ground. Being mere mortals with limited strength, we used an old Kewanee elevator with a Wisconsin motor that always required two pulls on the starter rope whether the engine was hot or cold and a quarter choke to get it started. The elevator was 80 feet long. One end sitting out in the barn yard, the other disappearing into the barn, it would take the bales of hay one at a time from the wagon on the ground up to the crew in haymow, who would take the bales and deposit them tightly in their heat holding, aroma saving, storage place until winter.

The elevator would elevate (imagine that) as the barn would fill. Following the laws of Pythagoras, the base would shorten while the vertical would lengthen maintaining that sum of the squares ratio of the eighty foot hypotenuse. There was a rhythm to be maintained while loading bales onto the elevator: every five feet, place another bale on the conveyer and it would be transported to my father who would be waiting at the end taking every bale from the front edge of the mow. He would take that 50 lb bale and propel it up to 30 ft. at the feet of one of three teenage boys on the haymow crew. He would direct them where to put the next bale, admonishing them to keep the stack tight, and patiently waiting for the next row. Sometimes his hollering would be punctuated with a yelp from one of the boys, when they sank to their knee into the hole that their sloppiness left on the previous level.

He would grab another bale every ten seconds for the 20 minutes it would take to unload the 120 bales and then walk down the elevator at the end followed by three bedraggled teenage boys wondering how they would last until 6:30 that evening when the approaching dew would start to make the hay too damp to keep well in the barn. This rhythm would repeat itself all afternoon; twenty minutes to unload, ten minutes to retrieve a filled wagon from the field. Over and over, the only change to the rhythm would be to crank the elevator a little higher as the stack grew.

This barn had an unusual feature in the form of a straw loft that protruded out into the middle part of the barn when the elevator would travel its Pythagorean progress. When the barn became two thirds full the hay mow would start to become constricted by the roof. This was always the last setting for the elevator. The laws of geometry made it impossible to get under the straw loft and any higher before reaching the roof line. It was always a tight fit. In fact, if the front edge of a bale popped even a little bit of a wheelie it would hit the floor of the straw loft and if we were lucky tumble off of the elevator and hit the ground with a thud. The unlucky ones would get stuck on the elevator causing the drive belt to slip and smoke or worse cause the chain to break. Heaven help the wagon unloader (me) if the chain broke.

At the angle that the elevator went into the barn on this last set, physics took over and all of the forces of nature tried to get the nose of those bales to pop up. The elevator was so steep that Evil Kneval could have used it to jump Snake River canyon. However, dad had a plan; simply set the bale on the edge of another bale, push down on each end of the bale making a nice little bow, put the bale on the elevator with the ends down; one every 5 feet. The arch would keep the nose down. The bale would slide under the obstruction and make its way into dad’s waiting arms.

That obstacle overcome, Sharritt Farms would forge ahead for the next 360 bales with no issues or problems. Then the fourth load would come and the lesson in certain ambiguity would begin with my father its Sensei. Everyone knew that the mow would not hold the entirety of load number four. How much would it hold; 40, 50, 110 bales? It was very important to fill it to the certitude of full. That 60 bales could be the difference between May 5th or the 11th. The barn had to be full. Instructions to the unloader; pay attention you’ll know when its full.

“How?”

“I’ll yell.”

“Okay.” But I thought; sure you’ll yell. You are eighty feet away, there is an old Wisconsin engine screaming because the muffler was broken off last year when a bale got caught on the straw mow and fell off the elevator, there is a two foot window that is blocked by a bale of hay every ten seconds. You’re going to yell. You’re going to yell at me when I don’t hear you yell.

“How many bales do you need?”

“I don’t know. Some. Just pay attention and I will let you know.”

“More that 40; more than 80?”

“I don’t know. Just pay attention. I am certain that you will know.”

He didn’t know. I kept thinking he could have known. However, his mind was elsewhere. I yearned for the certainty of a story problem made just for this occasion. There are 5.3 rows, each row holds 11 bales. How many bales do you need to fill the haymow?

The answer, written in the ambiguity forced by his strong, but weary shoulders: May 12th.

Take care,

Roger





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