Just Kidding

Dear Blog Reader

I hope that this finds you doing well. Specifically, I hope that this does not find your emotional wellbeing held hostage by the hoops prowess of a 22 year old kid who has been worshiped by a sports mad society since the moment his genetics indicated that he had a good chance at being freakishly tall. As you can probably surmise, I have given emotional control over to such a 7 foot man-child and have been sorely disappointed in the first round of the tournament. Maybe your emotional wellbeing was postponed for a week even two but now all except two of us have had our hopes and dreams dashed.

I should know better. My guy had an interview in the newspaper that gave enough red flags to any discerning person. The paper says that he loves to watch SpongeBob "all day long." That is quite the resume declaration. "I would love to do a good and conscientious job except for those times when I download SpongeBob and binge watch every afternoon. I like to stay fresh." With that kind of mental fortitude, one shouldn't wonder that when up 13 points with 3 minutes left, your team folds because the other team becomes desperate and hits you with an intensity much stronger than Plankton's diabolical schemes to steal Mr. Krab's secret recipe. (No I don't watch SpongeBob and you shouldn't either. I looked the premise of the show up on google.)

It is not just that I like to feel good about my team. I have to make you sorry that you root for your team. I am shameless in my emotional manipulations. I have friends and relatives that I have personally ridiculed because of their allegiance to a school that their dad, mom, aunt, or uncle loved. Maybe, they spent their formative pre-adult years maturing at that school, forging lasting relationships, beliefs or lives that were their own and not their parents. Maybe their allegiance to that school is based solely on these intangibles and finds outlet on the basketball court in March. It doesn't matter. I have spent great effort denigrating the embodiment of their hopes and dreams. Look at my Facebook feed, or text message threads. They would make a Trump rally participant (pro or con) blush.

Oh sure, it is good natured teasing. You in your IU shirt giving the choke sign to your office mate on Friday morning. In his brain, he knows that he did nothing to contribute to the inability to handle the press, to score just one more point in 3.5 minutes. He did not attend a single practice, run a single drill. He could not dribble the ball down the court with both hands. He was not in charge of making sure that 7 footer's Nickelodeon cable feed was uninterrupted. He's an accountant for goodness sakes. He is not responsible for this loss. His brain knows that it shouldn't matter. But it does.

My office mate also knows that the proper response to this good natured teasing is to laugh at it; to chuckle and shake his head sadly side to side. He just has to say "what you going to do?" To do anything else would be thin skinned, petty, and a poor loser. We should not be those things. We have been well trained through the years. If you are less than magnanimous in the face of taunting, the heat will be turned up. The most obnoxious might even get you a little choking Boilermaker doll. Your life will be a living heck.

Why? Why do we tolerate the emotional thuggery? At best they are only bucking themselves up. They know that the fickle fates will turn against them soon. They will be on the bottom. Hopefully, a boost now at your expense will get them through the tough times ahead.

No wonder we have March Madness straddle April Fools day. Why go and forebear idiots more than once during a calendar year? Let's just test our patience one time for three weeks. Let's do it in the early spring while working our way out of the winter doldrums. We're not doing much. We're just waiting on the warm weather to get here in earnest. One day basking in the 70 degree sun; tempted to remove the coat and the flannel sheets. However, we know we can't. Tomorrow we may have 40 mile an hour winds and snow flurries. No, laughing at the good natured fool's attacks on our team, or reading the April Fools Memes Ad nauseam is good training for our fortitude. It helps build our character.

 Go a head an pile on. We don't care. Sure your 60 years old and you suddenly found out you were pregnant. Of course, the boss says that you get the rest of the day off with pay. I am sure that you just cut your finger off. It must really hurt. I love it when you put that kick me sign on my back. Yes, my team is worse than yours. Your ability to pick the bracket is amazing. No wonder we call you Kreskin behind your back. It is all just hilarious.

An now, it is down to just two of you. We started with 64 winners, and have made losers out of 62 of you. We have questioned their drive, their dedication, and their determination. Don't worry in a couple of days, we will even make a loser out of another one. People will be disappointed, downhearted, and depressed. Don't worry though. Things are looking up. We have nearly gotten past the fools for another year.

Take care.

Roger