Sweet and Crisp

Dear Blog Reader.

Well we went and did it. We let summer get away from us. You have spent entirely too much time reading this blog and not finding the cure for cancer, or discovering the secrets of teleportation. You could have become a fairly good marathoner for your age group, grown the biggest pumpkin at the state fair, or hiked the Appalachian Trail. However, you have chosen to fill your time reading this blog. You might as well validate the decision and become a follower of this blog. Go ahead and hit the button to the right and declare to the world that you would rather be entertained with odd ball observations of life. You will join the ranks of the thirty other followers of “You Said What, Roger?”

Summer was rolling along without any problems; highs in the 90’s, lows in the 70’s. Suddenly, it rains, and we have to go scampering for the sweat shirts and jackets. I hope that you were blessed with a found $5 bill or $20 bill that was abandoned one day last March or April. Aren’t those the best? It makes you wish that you had a 90 degree day so you could go to the ice cream shop for a double flavor of the day in a waffle cone. So you decide to leave that $5 bill in the pocket and wait until that first warm day of spring when you will go out and get yourself a cone.

Yes, we have turned the corner. We are headed towards fall. The days are shorter but at least there exist honey crisp apples. I sometimes wonder it honey crisps are God’s way of distracting us from the shortened days.

“Oh no the days are getting short. I am moments away from seasonal affective disorder.”

“HERE HAVE A HONEY CRISP APPLE. EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY.”

“Oh my gosh that is so crisp and good. I love these apples. What are they called?”

“HONEY CRISP. THEY ARE GOOD. AREN’T THEY? WE ARE PARTICULARLY PROUD OF THOSE. THEY ARE THE PERFECT BLEND OF SWEET AND CRISPY.”

“Yeah, what was I worried about? OMG, these are good apples.”

“THANK YOU. IT IS NICE OF YOU TO SAY.”

Why is it that so many bible stories center around apples and distraction?

Last weekend, we had a wonderful opportunity to spend time with family friends whose young daughter tied the knot. It was even more fun because yours truly was invited to help cut up watermelon for the reception. I quickly harkened back to our wedding reception. While cutting up the thirty watermelons, the lovely Miss Beverly and I realized that we must have given away a ton of watermelons at our wedding. I had shared my misgivings with the father of the bride when informed that a mere 30 were purchased for 275 people. As recollected in a recent blog, the Lovely Miss Beverly and I had 100 melons for 300 people. After this most recent watermelon endeavor we still had seven melons left. So using the same proportions, we probably gave 65 melons away to well-wishers.

The ceremony was beautiful. The vows were beautiful. It is always interesting to see the things that the young put into their vows. Love is young and bold. Promises are made. The reception was fun. As the lovely Miss Beverly and I have matured, we have enjoyed the anniversary dance more and more. It is interesting. The pace of moving the couples off of the dance floor based on marital endurance is leisurely at the beginning. “Those who have been married less than a day, a year, two years, five years, and ten years. Then the deejay panicked, he had 2 minutes left on the song and the dance floor was still crowded with old coots and coot-ettes, enjoying the strands of “Stand by Me” and dancing really close. In an effort to clear out the love birds, the countdown jumped to 35 years, then on to 45 and finally fifty. What’s the big hurry? Skipping through those tough years, it was like someone had put banana peels on our walkers and we were sliding right off the dance floor.

 We were down to the final two couples; grandparents of the bride and grandparents of the groom. Then there was one. The grandparents of the bride had been together for more than sixty years. That was amazing. We are barely half way there. I cannot imagine how well I will get to know this lovely in 30 more years. Who knows? We may find a way to short circuit the fight that we have where I don’t include the Lovely Miss Beverly in decisions about the farm. We may come to some agreement about living on the farm or moving to town in a smaller house.

The hurried pace of clearing out the enduring couples gave me pause. Did we make the young folks uncomfortable? Were we unattractive? I am sure that I didn’t mind giving short shrift to the old fogies when the lovely Miss Beverly and I tied the knot. We were just paying lip service to the old ones. Thankful that they had contributed to the towel and toaster fund, let’s get on to more fun things. Now I see that they had tried to provide much more. We put up with firm handshakes from uncles and hugs from aunts. But from this side maybe I should have thought to ask are these vows too much or do they ring a little empty. What was that “as gold refined by fire so our love will be tested and made more pure?” I am sure that Nanny or Aunty Mid would have encouraged use to ask for a little less fire and a few more cool iced teas on the porch.

How much would we learn by giving those married for fifty years the microphone and asking a few pointed questions? How do you make it work? What happens when she won’t help with the housework? What do you do when he wants to change you? You thought you were fine while you were dating. How do you recover from the personal tragedy of a miscarriage, a sick or dying child? How can you stand that he is a worrier about everything? How did you ever get her to save for any rainy day? I hear that she was quite the spender back in the day. What caused you to lose faith in him? How did you rebuild your faith in her?

Certainly, you wouldn’t want to ask all of the old ones out on the floor after 40 years. Some of us don’t age well. Some of us turn moldy and rotten instead of gaining a rich patina of age and maturity. They are easy to see and easier to ignore. The others? You would think that they would have good advice to give if asked.

What would the answers be? “Of course we were too young. We just held on. I looked at myself and changed the parts that would make me a more loving person. I let her wash her own cloths and dishes. Those were hard times. I am not sure how we made it through them. We were just both so sad. His worrying prepared us for some things that allowed us to spend all of that money on your wedding present dear. He made some pretty dumb decisions. I decided that I liked her once. Those things were still there. I decided to like her again.”

“I promise the world to you my love. Will you love me back?”

“HERE HAVE A LOOK AT THIS LONG LONG MARRIAGE. IT MAY HAVE BEEN TOUGH BUT LOOK AT HOW SWEET AND CRISP IT IS.”

“Oh my gosh! that is so good. They have ripened well. How did they do that?”

“OH THEY WERE MARRIED. IT IS GOOD ISN’T IT? WE ARE PARTICULARLY PROUD OF THOSE. THEY ARE THE PERFECT BLEND OF MATURE AND GIDDY.”

“Yeah, what was I worried about? OMG, a good marriage is possible.”

“THANK YOU. IT IS NICE OF YOU TO SAY.”

Take care.

Roger