One, Two, Three, Go?

Dear Blog Reader.           

I hope that this finds you doing well. I am fine. I received quite a surprise two weeks ago. I started writing one blog and another came out. It was a very nice one if I do say so myself. I had intended to write about riding a tandem bike with the lovely Miss Beverly. It might be better to say learning to ride a tandem bike with the lovely Miss Beverly. As I started writing two weeks ago, it had been on my mind.

We had gone on an excursion in southern Indiana the weekend before: 32 miles in hilly Brown County. As we turned our Subaru with our tandem bike in the back, onto the back road leading to our start point, we were faced with a huge downhill followed by an equally daunting uphill. The lovely Miss Beverly said “That’s a reality check.”

Reality before that moment of clarity had been several 8 mile rides on the flats around home. We were game and plucky. We were committed to riding the 32 mile “Nuthugger” route of the Tour de Upland. Yes, that Upland. The little brewery that could in Bloomington Indiana. They were in the vanguard that thought that they could carve out a niche and brew beer better that the big boys. They seem to be very popular and keep expanding the store.

I am afraid to say that they are not good at logistics. In retaliation for the disappointing experience, I am encouraging everyone who goes to their wonderful Bloomington store to take a Subway sandwich with them. Go ahead order your favorite Upland Brew, pull out your cold cut combo special and enjoy. If the wait staff seems indignant, simply respond with two words. Tour de Upland. Or is that three words. It’s so hard to tell when southern Indiana hillbillies mistaken think that they are a distant cousin of the greatest annual biking event in the world. It matters not. Those two or three words will shut them up. I know that it may make little sense to you. But isn’t it better when faced with a complex issue to shout out a couple of words in solidarity with the cheated? I digress.

That’s right. The lovely Miss Beverly and I are gingerly taking baby steps into the world of tandem biking. It fits our styles of riding very well. Actually, it makes allowances for our different styles very well. The Lovely Miss Beverly is all about the event, the rolling hills and trees opening up to grand vistas through a valley, a concert at the end of a long day of cycling, meeting new and interesting people while sharing a meal with them. Her goal for the next RAGBRAI that we participate in is having a roadside stop with free beer each day and asking those who stop one simple question. “How did you learn to ride a bike?”

I am all about the road, the next crank of my pedal, getting up the next hill coasting down the other side. While on RAGBRAI, I saw the following slogan on a jersey. “Who needs a Reason, Just give me a road.” That is me. I have been scouring the internet trying to find that jersey. It is why I don’t mind riding at 5:00 a.m. in the dark. I really don’t need to see very far in front of me to get more road which is what drives me.

So a tandem allows us to pursue these two very different pursuits in close proximity. It keeps us moving forward toward a common goal from two different directions.

Tandem riding has proven pretty challenging. After thirty years of marriage, we could justly be accused of taking certain communication patterns for granted. You can’t do that on a tandem. You have to be very clear. You have to be very clear in advance. You can’t say coasting the same second you decide to stop pedaling. There is nothing more jarring as you get ready to push down hard with your left foot as your partner with the same mechanical advantages had decided to stop. Such actions result in gritting of teeth, saying “I’m sorry”, and pledges to do better next time. The same goes for trying to gut it out a little too long. If you are experiencing discomfort in the nether regions from the bike seat, it is much better to say something than wait for your partner to tell from your body language that pedaling needs to cease immediately so that butt realignment can take place and the pressure be relieved. It won’t take a moment. However, it is impossible for your mate to know. Neither of you can see the other’s face. You are both concentrating on pedaling, the road, and staying upright. ESP does not work.

Tandem riding also is not conducive to meaning something other than what you say. I am bad at this. I confess. A perfect example occurred on Tour de Upland. In our short riding practice, we always start by putting our left feet on the pedals at the bottom of the stroke and taking three quick pushes with our right feet to get enough speed to stay upright as we scramble to get our right feet on the pedal and our butts on the saddle and starting to pedal. “Go on three, one, two, three, up.” I actually have a corollary playing in my head. “Go on three, one, two, three, up, (unless we don’t have enough speed according to my internal gyroscope and then it is four, five, or six. Whatever it takes to meet the gyroscope threshold and then up.)

It appears that the lovely Miss Beverly is a literalist. Go on three means go on three no matter how the laws of gravity will be violated without proper speed. We were struggling up a hill early on in the “Nuthugger.” We had to stop. The start was required on the uphill. As captain, I thought that we could make it (on five or six.) “On three” I said. One, two, three, Bev jumped on the pedals. I held my left foot still at the bottom stroke desperately trying to will the lovely Miss Beverly to turn the page to the obvious corollary. It was not to be. Stuck in some weird physics problem of vector analysis and center of gravity overload, we went down into the side ditch.

Did I say that this was in the first mile of the 32 mile “Nuthugger”? Yes we were not off to a very auspicious start. Maybe getting a tandem wasn’t such a great idea. Maybe, we couldn’t communicate well enough to pull this off. Two head strong people fighting for pedaling superiority. My inner voice flashed to when we picked up the bike after buying it on Craig’s list. “My fiancé and I got this so that we could ride together. She went to law school and we don’t have time to ride anymore.”

The lovely Miss Beverly kindly asked “when’s the wedding?”

After a few awkward moments, the response came, “we’re no longer together.”

It does give one pause. Is our tandem cursed? Did it cause their break up? Will it come between the lovely Miss Beverly and me?” Not to worry. We made it. The lovely Miss Beverly was very gracious to being spilled on her tuffet. We got better as the day went on. We got over walking up the really big hills. And yes go on three really and always means “one, two, three, go.”

As the lovely Miss Beverly and I like to say, the road to a lovely marriage in an interesting journey.

Take care.

Roger