Older than Dirt

Dear Blog Reader

I hope that this finds you doing well. I am pretty good. Isn’t it glorious? This weather. I hope that you are in a part of the world where spring has sprung. I do know based on the demographic information gleaned from your bumps up against my blog (That would make a terrible R rated movie title) that some of you are moving towards the dark days of the year. Your winter is coming. I suppose that the penguins have marched 10 miles in land and are just standing there looking down at their feet waiting for the snow to hit the oscillator so to speak. Good luck and hang in there.

Spring has sprung. I feel like a drunk on a Distillery tour. “So you mean that all of these barrels are full of whiskey and we can have a sample at the end of the tour? I have just one other question. Where’s the straw?” Ahh the newness of late spring to early summer. All of the photosynthesis. The corn is the ground. The beans will be seeded by Friday. Let breath deep and let the oxygen replenishment begin.

I have had a topic weighing on my mind for several weeks. In late March, I read several news articles about the world’s oldest person passing away at 117 years old.  That’s right Misao Okawa, of Japan, lived to be a ripe old 117 years before succumbing to life. As HeeHaw would proclaim, “Salute.” What would you put on her death certificate as reason for death? 117 years? That should be explanation enough.

If you have been a long time reader of this blog, or as I like to call you a long time blog bumper, you will recall my fascination with uber old age. In fact, I believe that someone currently alive will live to be 150 years old. Since that is the case, I see no reason why that won’t be me. No reason other than my being mildly overweight and living a life way too full of stress. But I do imagine what it would be like to live 150 years. The changes that you would see during that time. Take Misao for example. She was 47 years old when two atomic bombs exploded in her country. That is amazing to me. The lovely Miss Beverly and I entered empty nest around that time. Life feels pretty set to me. And yet she had another 70 years to go. I have several relatives that didn’t make it to 70 (we do not have the longest lived genes in the pool) and to be honest we thought that they were older than dirt their final ten years and she had another 70 years to live.

Yes, it would take a great sense of style and grace to do 117 years.

As with the reign of any royalty, there is always someone standing in the wings ready to take up the mantle of the oldest person in the world. With Misao’s passing, that title fell to Gertrude Weaver a lovely 116 year old Arkansas woman, who did not seem to be burdened by the name of Gertrude. Maybe bullying doesn’t have long term affects. That would be a good study. Alas, I used the past tense when I announced Gertrude’s ascension to old age royalty. While she lived 116 days with the name Gertrude, it appears that the celebrity stress was too great for Gertrude and five days later she died from . . . you guessed it being 116 years old. 

Five days is not the shortest reign of the oldest person in the world. That honor fell Emma Tillman in 2007 who held the title for 4 days. Gertrude sure gave her a run for her money.

Speaking of reigning, wouldn’t it be cool if the 89 year old Queen Elizabeth lived another 26 years or so and claimed two titles; the oldest person and the Queen of England? Charles would be pretty mad about it though.

So now Jeralean Talley of Michigan is the oldest person in the world tipping the birthday candles at 115.

The article that I read said that the oldest people in the world usually held the title for about a year. Which makes me wonder why the CDC and world health organization isn’t out there seeking a cure. We need bike-a-thons, walks, and other fund raisers. A cure has to be found for the death sentence that “oldest person in the world” has become. That is a terrible diagnosis.

Doctor: “Congratulations, you’re the oldest person in the world, but I am sorry to say that you will die within the next year.”

Oldest person in the world: “What will I die of doctor?

Doctor: “Being the oldest person in the world.”

Congratulations Jeralean! May your reign last for many years and may those years be filled with grace and joy.

Take Care.

Roger