Beer and Oreos?

Dear Blog Reader: 

I hope this finds you doing well. It leaves my keyboard in the absence of the lovely Beverly. That’s right. I tried to hold my breath to convince her to not go to Ghana. In her wisdom, she went on and followed through and I started to breath again after I passed out; such parenting skills.  The flight went well. She has experienced her first trotro and it was as bad as advertised. If you haven't read any of Grace's blogs, a trotro is a short bus built for 20 that usually had 30 people on it; no air-conditioning, and close quarters. Things are going well though.

I am doing fine also. On the morning of Bev’s departure, a friend messaged me; asking what was I going to do with Bev gone. I responded the same way that I have always responded when commenting on Bev’s absences for the past 17 years. "I am going to drink beer and eat Oreos until I am eating beer and drinking Oreos.' I wish that I had coined the phrase, but that honor goes to Tim Gennett, my boss and mentor while I was working at Purdue. In addition to this sage advice on the appropriate menu during your better half’s periodic absences, he once told me that the best reason to apply for a promotion was that with every promotion you could reassign one or two distasteful tasks to your new underlings.

The question, of what are you going to do when your wife is gone to the ______, (you fill in the blank) is a recurring one. It is especially prevalent in Christian Circles, where the women go on retreat once or twice a year leaving the men alone with the children and having really low expectations of their husband's coping skills. But year after year everything turns out okay. The kids are fed and dressed. No one dies and very few are maimed. As I mentioned, 17 years ago I had my watershed year. Grace turned three and was finally able to get herself out of bed, and dressed. That was the year that she was able to start queuing up the Barney videos. It was also the year that Ben turned five. By five years of age, he was able to setup the griddle, mix up a little batter and make a passable pancake. Yep, 17 years ago, I started eating beer and drinking Oreos when Bev left for a day or three.

Supper: Make sure you don't ruin your appetite with salad. 

Of course the men handle things a little differently than their wives. Men and women are different. Who hasn’t heard of the defining book on the subject, “Women are from Mars and Men have a Penis”?  Relationships are important for women and blah, and blah, and blah, and blah. Men on the other hand want to keep it simple. “Nice big screen. Gotta beer? Sure I’ll take some Oreos. I’m starved.”

You say tomato, and I say tomato (I sometimes with that I could read my blogs to you; more nuanced.) We both go about our tasks in different ways but get to the same place.

Here are some of the things that I have learned during Bev’s short time in Ghana.

When Bev is here, I can’t eat in bed. She doesn’t like to lie on crumbs. But when she’s gone . . .

She doesn’t have to sleep on the crumbs now. I’m sleeping single in a double bed. The ants are a bit bothersome though.

I must say, the laundry was a little daunting . . .

Problem solved. . .

So as they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, it also goes to show that every once in a while beer and Oreos really help when I miss Bev.

Take care

Roger