Just blowing leaves around?

Last week I wrote that spring has sprung. Well it has snapped back shut again and smacked our fingers hard. Cold wet rainy weather has the farmers and gardeners jonesing for warm weather. Tornado alley turned into Tornado Freeway, and has left those of us unaffected watching Youtube videos shot by those less fortunate who were born with out the good sense God gave a goose as Nanny used to say.

My favorite video was in North Carolina. He is filming and talking on the phone to a loved one. It is a one sided conversation but based on the subject matter at hand you get a pretty good feeling for what the other side of the conversation is. But because of modern technology, we here at You Said What Roger? Were able to reconstruct the other side of the conversation.  It follows in red.

“You what? Looking at a tornado?

“Yep right now. I can take pictures of it too. I happen to be recording it. That’s even better.”

“Video will be perfect. I am so glad that I spent the extra money and got you that I-phone. You can video your little tornado and talk to me in this super calm voice that has always irritated me.” “Now this video quality goes down at long distance. How close is it?”

“Ohhhhh, a half a mile.”

“Half a mile? That’s kind of close hon. But you’ll get good pictures if it isn’t going away from you.”

“I’d say its coming straight towards me.”

“Straight towards you?! Isn’t that dangerous? Half a mile? These storms are traveling 40 miles an hour. Jr. Get in here and bring your math book. Turn to the story problems. An idiot is filming a tornado that is a half a mile away that is traveling at 40 miles an hour how long does he have to live.” No I don’t have a calculator.”

“Hon, does the tornado look very bad?’

“Yeah but. . . But its not one of those I would say devastation four terrible. I mean it’s picking up leaves.”

“Oh a leaf blower tornado. You should be fine. Jr. go out to the garage and see how fast the leave blower blows. Don’t sass me you ain’t going to get that story problem done before your dad gets his come to Jesus moment.”

Is it only kicking of leaves?

“I see stuff in it. It is just twisting.  Oh there goes a flash. It’s blowing up some power lines now.”

“A flash? Blown up power lines? Oh my. That’s not safe”

“Speaking of safe. Darling you’re not driving and on the cell at the same time are you?” “You know there are laws against that.”

“No I’m stopped. I’m in a parking lot now. Do you hear the rain now?”

“Hon that sounds like hail. It sounds pretty close.”

“It’s going to pass right over me.”

“Oh thank God.”

Raining and hailing so hard that it is hard to hear what he says next.

“Hon?  Hon?  Oh my God Jr. Dad just got flattened by a tree in a tornado. It’s terrible. All I can hear is this death and destruction. Oh Jr. what will we do?”

“The nearest tree to me is probably down the road from your house to the corner.”

“Down the road from your house to the corner? What are you talking about?”

“Yep there goes a roof off of a house.”

“Oh no!”

“Yep. Yep. Hang on I love you.”

“You love me? You stopped and took pictures of a tornado that was bearing down upon you and God is about to drop a roof on your head and all you have to say is I Love you?
How about I am a silly damned fool who doesn’t have the sense God gave a goose? How about this was really stupid dear? I will never stop and take pictures of a tornado again.  I Love you! You had better be okay Hon! Or I’m going to kill you.”

“I’m okay right now. My truck isn’t but I’m okay.”

“Yep. I’m okay. I’m still good. It’s just I have a problem with what I’m driving. It’s damaged. No ummm. Looks like roofing blew off a building and got me. I mean I’m okay.”

“I’m okay. Don’t worry for me.”

“Well get your sorry excuse for a behind home now. And don’t forget the milk.”

You know this person was a goof ball that had no business being where he was doing what he was doing. It is interesting how society desires to show the tragedies, moments, scenery to our cameras and video recorders. Wendell Berry has a poem that describes a family on vacation going down the Kentucky River voraciously feeding a camera all of the river scenes as if there was no beauty there if the one eyed contraption did not capture what was three dimensional in its two dimensional format. The loss of that dimension often takes away the power, the grandeur, the immensity, of what is bearing down upon us.

There have been thousands of people affected by these storms this past weekend. Our prayers and thoughts go out to those who have lost belongings and more tragically loved ones. Being a generous country, I am sure that we will answer the call that will be coming for physical assistance in the days to come. May those who suffered terribly find comfort and protection. May those of us who were left unscathed understand their plight without pictures.

Take Care.

Roger