Boring?

Spring has sprung in central Indiana. Today's weather made me painfully aware of that fact. After church, I went to Meijer and saw a large number of pale white folks. That is a large number of white folks who were pale, not a number of large pale folks from Indiana. Given some media bias, I can understand certain jumps to conclusions. Folks who for economic, health, or social justice reasons had shunned tanning beds. Folks stuck in Indiana for spring break while the uppity neighbors had traveled to Florida for sun and warmer tempratures. Folks that were seizing an opportunity to show those neighbors that you don't need to travel 14 hours to get plenty of sun. They could do in in one glorious April day with a high in the low 80's.

I bet that Melville was in Meijer on a bright April morning. "Well call me Ishmehel, Did you see that?"

Saturday was much more conducive to the rest and relaxation that I love so much. In fact, it was a great day to give blood. Cloudy, overcast, rainy and giving blood that will get you some recovery time on the couch every time. My internal guilt meter was turned off. It was nasty outside and I was going to do a good work.

As I was filling out the questionnaire that you have to fill out to give blood, it struck me that I am a very boring person. There are a list of behaviors that you have to answer correctly in order to be eligible to donate. The first few are easy. Do you feel well today? Y. Are you currently taking antibiotic? N. Then the fun begins. Do you have any tatoos? Thank goodness I sobered up that weekend in Panama City. N. Do I have any ear or body peircings? My belly button is precious. Plus that would hurt. N. Been in jail for more than 72 hours? What happens in hour 73? Note to self; don't get busted on the Friday afternoon before Memorial day. N.

Then there is this whole list of questions about who you have sex with. It is a long list and makes one blush when mulling over the permutations upon permutations of the same thing. It appears that you are suspect in certain areas of the country if you have had sex with any thing but a goat. Don't worry, you Idaho boys can still be donors. Unless you had sex with a goat in exchange for drugs or money; then you are out of luck. Beware of gansta goats, spudweisers. Makes me wonder how Bill Clinton answered. "Depends on what is is." wasn't one of the choices. Not that it is any of your business, but I passed because, while very satisfying, my sex life is also lacks partnerial variety.

Then there are all of the places that you can't travel to. You are suspect if you travel outside of the United States or Canada. If you answer yes, they pull out a book and look at what zip code you traveled to in Mexico. If the area you visited is pink, you are good to go. It appears that they will check me for the next two years because the family went to Tijuana last year. So much for living on the wild side. In fact the list of suspect countries is so long that the blood industry could be accused of xenophobia. Xenaphobia for those who don't know that means your blood ain't good enough for us.

In the end, I was able to copy off of this nice nun and get a high enough score to pass. Which is no easy task. They wear those big habits which block most lines of sight. Also it wasn't easy for her to qualify either. It appears that only 37% of Americans are boring enough to give blood and less than 10% do. I am including a link of 56 blood donation facts. If you read it, you have taken a monumental step towards eligibility.

http://www.americasblood.org/go.cfm?do=page.view&pid=12

So think about it. Give blood. It will give you another reason to haul your pale behind around Meijer wearing way few cloths. You wild thing you.

Take Care

Roger