Dear Blog Reader.
I hope that this finds you doing well. I am fine. I feel
that I must take a moment to apologize to my New England readers. No, I stand
by my negative opinions about your cheating coach and quarterback. I do want to
apologize that our wimpy weathermen and women sounded an alert and declared a
winter storm warning for five inches of very fluffy snow. It is a bit embarrassing
to call that a winter storm when you get feet of snow over and over again. It
is just wrong that we would empty our grocery store shelves for what must seem
like flurries for you.
I have another bone to pick with the weather people. What in
the heck is the difference between a Winter Vortex and a Siberian Express? I do
not remember the Niagara Falls freezing over with last year’s Winter Vortices.
This year and a week of fast moving Siberians and we have pictures flying
around the world of Niagara Falls doing its impersonation of an ice apocalypse.
It is very convincing as an ice apocalypse I might add. I used to whine and
complain that my kids never had a desire to take up the sciences and discover
teleportation. I am mostly over it now. However, I would like to see Niagara
Falls frozen over. But I don’t want to see them badly enough to drive 12 hours
to go see them. A three second teleportation, now I could do that. I probably
don’t need to see it for more that about ½ hour. I could zip right back then;
download the video to YouTube and be ready for my Sunday afternoon nap.
I wonder if you were to teleport me from Niagara Falls would
you teleport the air that was around me too. If it does, it stands to reason
that you teleport blocks of cold air from one point to the other. How cool
would that be? Pun intended. You could get a block of Siberia’s finest and
teleport it to the beach where your sister is escaping from the ravages of
winter and in a second have her rueing the day she posted that beach sunset on Facebook with the taunt "wish you were here" . The best
part is she couldn’t do anything back to you. What is she going to do teleport
a block of 80 degrees back at you. I say let her try. Oh wait a second, while I
get my swim trunks on. I don’t want to sweat in the 3 flannel shirts that I am
wearing these days.
I suppose that a sister could show some real imagination and
teleport an alligator up to my living room. That would cause some real
discomfort in a hurry. But it would be a warm alligator; every cloud and its
silver lining. Things could get out of hand in a very big hurry. The next thing
you know, the government would have to get involved. They would have to say “thou
shalt not teleport alligators to another individual’s house; not even if they
had taunted you with a blast of Siberian express while you were resting on the
beach.”
There goes the government short circuiting our natural
learning curve. Given a few months we would quickly figure out why the Golden
Rule is golden. It works. If everyone uses it, no alligator bites in
retaliation for Siberian Express attacks. Oh sure there would be an incidents
of missing fingers and I suppose even a few deaths while the learning was
getting started. But don’t we have enough rules to handle that? It seems that a
few manslaughter convictions would set things right. You could publish pictures
and results on Facebook and by and large people would straighten up and fly
right all on their own. As would be natural with any learning curve some people
would fail to get it. But in the end they would thin themselves out.
And without all that red tape.
Take Care
Roger
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