What are you going to do?

Dearest blog reader:  

I hope that this missive finds you doing well. I am fine. The cold virus is nearly all gone; the only remnants being a stray booger from time to time. I credit my quick turn around to clean living and some Thai food that I had in Bloomington with Ben, our eldest son. I am not what you would call an epicurean of international cuisine. I like my food Hoosier and hot: potatoes, pork, beef, something green. However, I am not a complete philistine. I will wander over to the pasta section of the menu and partake of the Italian delicacies offered. I am also fond of French side dishes with my good old American hamburger.

In spite of this international experience, Thai food remains a mystery. Specifically, the heat index remains a mystery. Last summer I ate Thai food in Champaign, Illinois. I took the 5 star heat. It was just too hot. I ate it all while drinking 5 gallons of water. I just wasn't comfortable sloshing around like that. Being a person who can learn from their mistakes, I took the 4 star; 20% less heat. It should be the difference between uncomfortable to having a well stimulated palate. However, in Bloomington, it appears that standards are a little different. This 4 star pork caused me pain. Of course, the Bloomington restaurant had an official certificate of authenticity for the Thai bureau of exports. Man it was hot.

I am afraid that I may have written this before. However, a quick perusal of past blogs does not reveal the following thought. At the risk of sounding redundant, I believe that I have found the explanation of the miracle of Pentecost. I believe that the apostles were hanging out after Passover. Prospects weren't good. They were bored and decided to go out to a little Thai place around the corner. The heat rating was a bit ambiguous. One thing led to another and the next thing you know, the Holy Spirit descended upon them like "tongues of fire". I just love it when everyday life makes the Bible more understandable.

I really came to write about a little dust up that has been played out in the local news media over the past week. Last week some young women apparently had their self esteem irreparably damaged in a basketball game. The final score was 107 to 2. It was a thorough domination by the women of Bloomington South apparently against the toddlers of Arlington. I first heard about it during a radio interview between the afternoon drive guy and a representative of the bastion of self esteem protection, the Indiana High School Athletic Association (ISHAA).  The radio guy was up in arms. What was the ISHAA going to do about the affrontery? Why wasn't the mercy rule activated? What there is no mercy rule? When are you going to institute a mercy rule? Since a mercy rule in the future will not provide redress now, how are you going to punish the administrators and coaches from Bloomington South?

I thought that was a little extreme; punish excellence. However, I figured my afternoon drive guy is a little soft headed, so I took it all with a grain of salt. You could imagine my surprise when the next morning my copy of the Indianapolis Star had 3 articles on the subject.; one saying that Twitter was a tweet with upset fans,  one by the political, commentating, hack suggesting that members of the Bloomington South administration should be fired for this affrontery and one that a local comedian, of national renown was going to visit the team to help rebuild their self esteem. It seems that I maybe I was the one with views outside of the mainstream on this subject.

When I first heard about the fans twitting about being upset, a very vivid memory popped into my head. I related the newspaper article to my daughter and she remembered the exact same sporting event. It was a 6th grade game against the dreaded self esteem pillaging Mt Veron Maurders. They had a staunch defense and we had weak ball handling skills. It was not pretty. The losers would bring the ball across the ten second line. The winners would steal it and run down and score. But you know what? It was not the girl's self esteem that was crushed but the parent's self esteem; parents who were living out their aspirations through their sixth grade girl's lives. I know this to be true because I had close intimate knowledge of one whose self esteem was misplaced.

Firing administrators because they did not do the right thing seems ludicrous. What was the right thing?  What would the soft headed suggest? Don't guard the not so good? Wouldn't that be a bit obvious? I am not sure that would have helped. The losers (and I use that term in the most loving way) scored their two points on free throws; one in the first half and one in the second half. So at best, the losers can hit 50% of their wide open shots. At that rate, the winners (I use that term in the most derisive way with a sneer on my lip and my voice dripping in sarcasm) would have to shoot 200 free throws and still the losers would have come up short. Maybe it we would have lowered the loser’s basket to 7 feet. That would have helped, but only if the winners would have agreed not guard the basket; because a winner would undoubtedly stand close to a lowered basket and heartlessly swat away loser shots.

It is obvious to me that the pundits thought something should be done and that something should be done by the winners not the whiners (once again said with loving admiration). Some how they should lose or at least make it close and make sure the losers don't know you are helping them out or their self esteem might be hurt.

I take great solace in this plan. An NBA career is in my immediate future. If Kobe Bryant has to make sure my self esteem is intact, he would have to play me on his knees without pads and only shoot left handed while blindfolded with a mouthful of saltines while trying to whistle the National Anthem of Latvia backwards. I'll show him.

Sadly, the funniest thing in this whole thing is our knee jerk thoughtless attempts to restore the self esteem of the injured. That comedian I mentioned early is Mike Epps; a Hoosier born and bred. He is a stand up comedian of some renown. He has been in a couple of comedies. I don't know what they were. Sorry, Mike's self esteem. But Mike was going to visit the losers and boost their spirits. Now Mike is uniquely qualified to boost young women's self esteem. He was cited in a newspaper article in March where he threatened to "f*** up" his daughter on an answering machine. Hello Mr. Baldwin? Am I the only person in journalism (I use the term loosely) who remembers this?  Why wasn't Mr. Epps called on this stunt in the media. Thankfully his daughter's self esteem was intact enough to allow her to call the police and file a report. Don't believe me? Google Mike Epps daughter.

So you see, it's a mess. The winners are losers. The losers are losers. We have mistaken celebrity for character. And I still can't trust the heat rating in a Thai restaurant.

Take care.

Roger