Self Defense?

My lovely wife was Skyping with my daughter today. The latter, of the “I think that I will jump out of this perfectly good airplane last September (which was described in the “Girls Gone Wild” blog of the same month)”, has been named a finalist for a scholarship that will allow her to go abroad for school for a year. This is all a good thing. It will put her into contact with people who are on the front lines of fighting human trafficking. It will broaden her horizons in many good and beneficial ways.

It also means that it puts her outside of mom and dad’s ability to do much in the way of protection. Not that that ability is available today but it is easier to lie to ourselves when she is in the same state that we are in. And let’s be honest, while the government is currently stable where she is going, some of its neighbors are experiencing violent upheaval and turmoil. (No she is not going to Illinois or Minnesota.)

Preparations are going on even as we speak. She is learning the language slowly but surely. I have encouraged her to learn the following phrase in all of the local dialects: “My father will hunt you down like a dog.” I have a map of all of the strategic targets in country and have been shopping at “Cruise Missiles R Us” in hopes of picking up some scratch and dent from the whole Libyan thing. I know that these jokes are just an attempt to soften the knowledge that I can’t control these events, but I do what I can do.

It is hard not to give “helpful” advice. I do gain comfort knowing that Grace’s friends, good friends, and significant other feel the same way. During spring break, Grace was taken to a self-defense class. While passing through greater Ingalls on the way back to school, these new founds skills were being demonstrated for Bev and I in our living room. Things were going well. She was smacking down her “attacker” with great ease, and seemed to be gaining confidence with each take down. When suddenly for some inexplicable reason, I started channeling my inner Cato (think Inspector Clouseau in the Pink Panther) and took off running as hard as I could at Grace across the room, flailing my arms, yelling like a mad man and threw her to the ground. No fancy judo moves to pull out on dad (maybe because she was laughing so hard). There was still work to be done.

If you are having trouble imagining it, watch the following Pink Panther clip. It is a pretty accurate re-enactment.

All of that chaos, all of that struggle, it can’t be escaped. It is going to happen. Clouseau ordered his life to have it happen. “Cato, when I lay down for bed attack me so that I may prepare for any danger that comes my way.” I find that I order my life the same way. As ridiculous as it looks and is, I will do the same thing this fall. I will tell my inner Cato to help me prepare for all of the danger that may come Grace’s way. I will lose much sleep as the rooms of my mind are turned over and over; grappling with every eventuality.

I do all of this when what I say that I want peace of mind. I say that I want my daughter’s independence. I say that I want her to pursue her call. That is the only way she will be who she can be. I say. I say. I say.

Cato, take the night off.  It’s all in self defense.

Take care

Roger